Whatever it was our own childhood, becoming parents, we usually make a solemn vow to be the best mums in the world. Some tend to indulge all the whims of the baby, actively suggesting that it is – the center of the universe, some just “go crazy” in the right education, carefully dosing the children’s joy. Both are right in their own way, but both, of course, wrong. Raising a child, it is necessary to subtly feel the “golden mean” and balance on the edge of boundless love and social norms of behavior.
Child psychologists have identified the 5 most common parenting mistakes most mothers make.
Constant denial. Young children can not do much of what they want: can not pull the cat’s tail, beat his older brother with a spoon on the forehead, walk in puddles, etc. Caring mothers have to keep a close eye on their children and, alas, suppress some things, but it should not be done by banning, because the constant “can not” simply cease to be perceived by children’s brains. Try to replace the usual “don’t fidget” with “sit still, otherwise you might fall out of the pram and hurt yourself” – this treatment is not only more positive, but also contains much more useful information, and thus contributes to the development of the baby.
Exaggerated expectations. Recently it is fashionable to think that children are some kind of super beings, who know and are able to do more than we do. Perhaps some of this can be agreed, but something to teach a toddler, though. Up to a certain point, he or she may not realize that you can’t laugh too loudly in a cafe, that pointing fingers is not nice, and that telling passers-by that you have to poop is not acceptable at all. Don’t be angry at your child – he hasn’t had a chance to learn about social behavior.
Bad personal example. Of course, we all understand the difference between adults and children, and some questions can be answered to your child “because I’m an adult, and you’re not yet”, but don’t underestimate the power of personal example. If your child sees their mum easily going off on a screaming tear, not finishing her lunch portions and throwing things around, they will quickly learn to throw tantrums, refuse to eat and turn their room into a real mess. Try to set a good example and never hesitate to apologize if you’re wrong.
Empty threats. Threats, or as modern mothers say, warnings, are often the most effective way to get things out of your child. Unless, of course, words differ from deeds. A warning should be followed by either obedience or compliance with the threat. A parent’s word is inviolable – a child should know this from infancy.
“Equalization” of children. All children are unique, which means each one needs its own approach. Of course, there are universal means: praise, motivation, warning, rewarding, restraining – all of them, one way or another, bring their own result. The mother’s task is to find the method to which her child is most receptive. Don’t blindly listen to your friends and parents, your child’s education is your own path and you should do it yourself.
It is believed that every child sends signals with every action. Use logic, intuition and maternal instinct to help you get in the right frame of mind.