When we become parents, we all, of course, count on the selfless help of our own mothers. It seems that with their support, experience and wisdom, caring for and raising a child won’t be so difficult, but the proverbial generational conflict comes into play. Often help turns into serious stress – too different your approaches to each and every issue.
The first thing that comes to mind is to throw out the new grandmother and cope with everything herself, but if you think a little, it immediately becomes clear that this is not the way out of the problem, but the entrance to another. Let’s talk about the problems you’re facing – perhaps we’ll see a solution too?
Problems of co-parenting with the grandmother
Eating disorders. Doctors say that the highest percentage of child poisoning occurs after the weekend, after the child was at his grandmother’s house. Caring grandmothers try to cram a week’s ration of sweets and tasty treats a la chips and nuts into the child. Act cunningly: vividly describe to grandmother all the horrors that await a child in hospital wards and dentist’s office. And ask for help – they say, if the child needs medical help, to go to the doctors will have a grandmother, because you can not ask for time off from work.
Violation of the temperature regime. The child should always be warmly dressed, and from the bathroom happy grandmother takes him pink as a pig – a familiar picture? The battle for temperature control will be fought to the death. Introduce grandma to all the tricks of the modern textile industry, show a warm and dry back of the baby after a walk. And instruct the grandmother to properly and safely arrange the mode of airing the rooms.
Limit motor activity. A child, in most cases, is a restless creature – is a little distraction and reality can bring you back exclamation “Mom, look how I can do it! The baby can be upside down on a tree branch, upside down on a horizontal bar, or riding “hands-free” on a bicycle. All this, of course, is dangerous, but you can’t keep a child under your skirt all your life. But that won’t stop the grandmother from trying to do it regularly. It’s probably not going to be overpowering, but it’ll make you feel better, too, won’t it?
Breach of discipline. It’s hard enough to discipline a child: not putting your elbows on the table, putting away scattered toys and even washing your socks for educational purposes, of course. But this task becomes quite impossible if the almighty grandmother rushes to the child’s rescue. Try to cheat: put the child in charge of cleaning and make them help grandma with her chores in return. The benefits of such cooperation will be obvious.
Violation of parental authority. By maneuvering between two adults who disagree, the child quickly learns to manipulate people. Typically, the grandmother assumes the role of the “good” policeman, and the fair mother has to settle for the role of the “evil”. This problem is more dangerous than all of the above combined. Talk to your grandmother and try to respectfully, but very firmly explain that in matters of education of your child her voice is consultative, and yours is decisive.
Faced with similar problems on your way, do not rush to cut off the shoulder – first try to solve it peacefully. It is easier to burn bridges than to rebuild them in the ashes.