Naturally, a happy family has to be created once and for all. You should build a relationship of trust, mutual respect and only with the one who is destined for you. But what if your long-awaited prince has already got the first wife, and worse, already has a jointly acquired with her child, and even two? Of course, this is not a reason to give up on possible family happiness, but we must be firmly aware that the situation is not easy. And so you will need a maximum of patience, wisdom and desire to resolve the difficult situation.
Let’s be honest – the sight of a man tenderly caring for a child, causes a storm of positive emotions in a woman’s heart. But if the child is the fruit of his love for another woman, even if now abandoned, the perception of the situation changes drastically – banal female jealousy intervenes. What to do?
Specifically for such families and situations psychologists have developed a set of recommendations and attitudes:
Accept the past of your beloved man. If the relationship is built on love, you can not deny the fact that you love a man for what he is, with all his experiences. A child is part of his life. You will have to get used to this idea.
Don’t expect understanding from your man’s previous wife. Every woman has her own truth and your lover’s ex-wife does not have to care at all about making you feel comfortable with the situation. The fact that she wants the opposite is understandable, so be patient.
Allow your man to remain a father. Alas, few divorced spouses are able to maintain the understanding that they are both still parents. Can you allow your lover to forget his sacred duty? And don’t worry that for the sake of some important issues for the child, he will have to communicate with his ex-wife.
Help your husband to establish communication with the child. Many “Sunday Dads” prefer to “pay off” from the children with expensive gifts, but with their help you can not build a really good relationship. Carefully, quietly, try to explain this to his spouse – and the budget will be tighter, and the relationship will be more sincere.
No more inhibitions! It happens that the ex-wife opposes the communication of the child with the new girlfriend of her husband – of course, this is not right, but it is understandable. Do not force the situation by hitting a sore spot – time will pass and everything will be resolved. There is nothing wrong with your husband spending the first few days with the child without you. After all, you are a total stranger to him at the moment.
All children are equal. When you have a child together, it won’t mean that it’s time to limit your husband’s first child’s rights. Try to make the children friends – wouldn’t it be great if your toddler had a caring older brother or sister?
The situation with “other people’s” children is always difficult and requires wisdom from all involved. But all the more precious is the happiness that comes with it.
