As children, we knew for sure that our parents were wrong in many ways: they were too strict, old-fashioned and incomprehensible. Perhaps each of us, at least once in our childhood, promised to be a better parent than the ones we had. However, whether we forget our promises or we realize over time that our parents were not so bad, we too make mistakes that encourage our children to swear to themselves that they will be much better than us.
Let’s talk about the most common mistakes parents make in raising their children – perhaps realizing them will help us make our children happier?
Major mistakes made by parents
Pampering. Sometimes adult life is so hard that parents want to spoil their children. We do not have enough time to communicate – and we compensate for this with expensive gifts, from which the children are crazy, but over and over again it becomes more and more difficult to surprise them, in addition, they are not always ready to thank for the gifts, taking them for granted. We may be spoiling the character of our children by making them capricious and spoiled.
Authority. With the arrival of a child, we get new names. We like to call ourselves Mum and Dad and authoritatively tell our children that Mum and Dad are always right, because they are adults, intelligent and want the best for their children. You will achieve obedience in this way, but you will never teach your child to think for himself. You should think about the fact that the child is an independent person and start respecting his/her judgment.
Indifference. While everyone knows that it’s better to learn from others’ mistakes, there’s no quicker way to learn than by making your own bumps. However, this method is not always suitable for children, and therefore you should not let the process of learning be left to chance, dismissing the baby with the words “do what you want. Think about it, perhaps under this position you are just masking unwillingness to be distracted from their own affairs on the child?
Manipulation. No one likes a greedy, deceitful and pugnacious – no wonder you’re trying your best to root out these and other flaws from your beloved child. However, do not abuse threats, that no one will love and respect him – so you can only achieve that the child will be scared and try to learn to hide their shortcomings.
Tenderness. A child who is often hugged, kissed and petted is more likely to grow up “petted” and infantile, while children who lack affection risk becoming embittered and “unloved”. Try to find a “happy medium” and do not forget that all children need tactile contact with their parents.
Obedience. In an effort to become super-parents, we often take on an “extra responsibility” by overprotecting a beloved child. In the beginning, when the child is not able to do anything, such care is beneficial, but as the child grows older, he has to become more and more independent. Do not interfere with his growing up, but rather support him.
Situationality. It’s no secret that in the life of an adult there are different situations, but you should not let your moods influence the educational process. If you will be “tossing” from side to side, the child will not catch the thread and will not learn the basics of proper behavior. Watch your emotions and don’t let them rule you.
It’s really not that difficult to avoid making these mistakes, you just need to be reminded from time to time that this danger exists.